On Fidelity
I have some great co workers who discuss freely on various subjects. This last week we had the chance to discuss fidelity, “libertinage” and marriage on our lunch hours.
I’ve been happily married for close to 2 years now and it didn’t come to me as an easy choice. Before my commitment I had been in multiple open relationships. Wind of this must have reached the priest who officiated our wedding. He spent the entire sermon time explaining why marriage was important and what it represented. He used the words *limit* a total of 16 times and looked almost only at me the entire time.
Some of my colleagues are free spirited and would like more freedom but are unable to afford it in their current relationship due to constraints confered by the couple’s understandings. Others would not even consider anything outside the scope of what their life offers them.
Multiple arguments have been made for the open lifestyle. Analogies with food came up: “We don’t eat the same meal every day. Diversity is helpful in appreciating even our favorite meals.”, “Yeah but some foods hurt your health in the long term.”.
Other more interesting concepts came from colleagues in how their relationships with different types of friends helped shape the person they currently are. Analogies to the one night stand and the person you meet only once for just some chit-chat. Say a cab driver asks you a question regarding politics you might see it as easier to speak to him about it than you would your own mother. Discussing this point of view with someone you barely know could result in some interesting discussions you wouldn’t otherwise have.
Perhaps the most interesting point that was raised is that as you pair yourself with someone you accept a part of life that is inescapable. Life is about the struggle to know what you want, the struggle to achieve it and accepting to live within the bounds that nature and circumstances handed you.